Monday, May 31, 2010

When someone just has it in for you.......

most of us are raised knowing that not everyone in life is liking to us....and thats ok!!! its not the end of the world!!!
there are girls at school that might tease or pick on you.....ladies at work that dont particularly like you or are jealous of you!! family members that cause friction in relationships etc etc....

We know its a part of life, and most of understand that just the same way we dont "like" everyone we meet in life, there will always be some that dont like us in return!!

Sometimes its hurtful, other times it doesnt really affect us! The proof though that we are strong and content in who we are, is when poeple are against us in life and it doesnt really get to us!!

Whether people like us or not shouldnt determine who we are.....whether they like the way we dress or look, whether they like our characters or the way we talk should have absolutely NO AFFECT ON US!!!

but the truth is, sometimes it does, sometimes it REALLY does.......
when it really does get to us more is when someone really "has it in for us"...

you know what i mean, that girl or woman who for some reason we cant work out just really doesnt like us, cant stand us or is really really jealous of us....but they dont stop there!!!! their goal/mission in life is to make us miserable, slander our name and character, spread gossip and rumours about us and try to recruit as many people into their little group against us!!!!

Im sure we have all had one or more of those in our lifetime!! im not talking about just your average disagreement with talking about someone who will not stop until they win!!!

Firstly, why are they like this????

there are so many reaosn why they could act this way......

-they are very jealous of you!!! VERY jealous

-they have had a really hard up-bringing and dont know how to treat people!

-they feel threatened by you, maybe they are scared you are going to take their friends, or you have recently joined their family and they dont want you to get all the attention etc..

-they are bored...

-They wish they were you and cant handle the fact they are not!

-They are just not happy in life

etc etc etc..........

whatever the hurts!! and as much as we pretend it doesnt and we put up a brave front.....deep deep inside, we get wounded and sometimes it does so much damage that it makes us put up a wall in any future relationships that we have!! we dont want to get hurt like that again!!

why am i writing this??

because i want to address something that affects us all, and i want to talk about how we can be free and content no matter who is slandering us!!

im not an expert in anyway and i have a LOOOoooooong way to go, but im writing this because its something that i have faced by myself over the last 2 yrs!!
I wont go into what happened and who it was etc...cause thats irrelevant, but i will say this;

when it all first came out that a particular person didnt like me and was spreading rumours and gossip about me, i was hurt to say the least!! i was very hurt and confused because i honestly had done nothing to this person, i respected them and their family and i never went around talking about them etc.....i had no idea why this person had it in for me and i felt very alone as i was living very far from my family and i wanted to be close to them!!

In the beginning i would get very angry whenever i heard their name....and it was really affecting me!! i hated it, cause on one hand i had done nothing wrong and was just totally confused, and on the other hand it was changing who i was and was making me angry and a bit bitter!!!

then oneday i just had enough!!! If i was in the wrong, then fair enough, but because i hadnt done anything.....i no longer wanted to be affected by it all!!

I prayed to God and asked his help, to help me just forgive and forget!! and i really felt compelled to pray for this person, not in a way of "God get them" but rather "God bless them"........

in the begining i didnt really want to pray for them cause i was angry and hurt....but i tried to do it everyday...where i would pray for blessing on their life, to bless their relationships with other people, to help them in their everday life etc etc....and honestly it was the best medicine!!!

Has it changed that not really, in fact it seems worse than before :) but boy has it chan ged me and my attitude!!!

im not joking!!!!
but when you pray for someone that really has it in for you, it may not change them or the situation but it really does change your own heart!!!

I now dont feel anger and hurt about not saying im perfect now and i will never be affected, its something i will have to work on all my life...but my heart really has changed!!

I feel such freedom and joy in my life and it shows on my face! I feel confident and secure in who I am in God and as a person!!! i feel a love and grace that i havnt felt in a while!!!

People can say what they like about you, but words dont have to stick on your character and change who you are!!! we dont have to believe what they say and let it affect us!! we no longer need to feel the weight and burdons of other peoples anger!!!

If you are going thru a hard time, bring it before God and let him hold you and make you stronger!! It will be hard in the begining but with all your might, be silent....dont slander them or gossip about them to other people, dont stoop to their level!! let God defend you because He does such a better job than we do!!! Even if you see no change in your situation, you can still feel total joy and peace.....let God take you to that place where their words dont stick and hurt any longer!!

I challenge you to pray for your enemies/slanderers/gossipers........and see how your heart will change!!

We are in this together :)

Lots of love

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